I spent the bulk of this past February working trying to save up enough money to leave Long Beach. I was planning to take a two month long desert trip and then to meet up with my friends at the Brave house in Portland. I love Long Beach and I always have, but everyone at some point I feel, has to move on, has to move away. For me it wasn't so much that there is a lot of the world to see and I wanted to see it, it was that there was a lot more in myself that needed to be explored against a different backdrop. And the excitement of leaving was only rivaled by the sadness of it. I started taking longer drives and longer drives to and from work, and most of the time I found myself parked at the beach, listening to the sight below and letting my mind wander. One day in particular I remember sitting in my car and watching these giant-ass black-ass storm clouds coming from the west and looking at the cityscape turning all grey and sad, in a way it was nice almost, like something or someone else was pushing me away too. I remember Mike talking to me about making a movie about moving away as a metaphor for dying. The preparation, the things you wanted to get done and didn't, and uncertainty of your destination. In a way that's what I wanted to come through in this song, at the end of my life, knowing that it's almost over and that the world won't miss a beat in my passing. Understanding that I have to leave and still part of me not wanting to.
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