"I have you I can sing to"

So you just had a good day, a really really good day, you can't even say why really, you just felt super good and it was tight. Now you're trying to tell your friend about your really good day and how good it made you feel and how tight it was and you're friend is not interested, they're not even really listening to you. But the day was so good that you keep trying to tell them about it, and the more you go into it the less they care and the more unimportant it seems. You don't really get mad because you're still feeling good from your really good day, but now your excitement can't get out, you want it to but because no one cares, it can't and it turns back in on itself. Sometimes it dies right there, but sometimes, some really special times, it keeps growing inward and resonates and you keep it in a special place, and you realize that it is important, that it actually is the most important thing there is because it's yours.

blueberry hill

"somebody whispers"

I spent the bulk of this past February working trying to save up enough money to leave Long Beach. I was planning to take a two month long desert trip and then to meet up with my friends at the Brave house in Portland. I love Long Beach and I always have, but everyone at some point I feel, has to move on, has to move away. For me it wasn't so much that there is a lot of the world to see and I wanted to see it, it was that there was a lot more in myself that needed to be explored against a different backdrop. And the excitement of leaving was only rivaled by the sadness of it. I started taking longer drives and longer drives to and from work, and most of the time I found myself parked at the beach, listening to the sight below and letting my mind wander. One day in particular I remember sitting in my car and watching these giant-ass black-ass storm clouds coming from the west and looking at the cityscape turning all grey and sad, in a way it was nice almost, like something or someone else was pushing me away too. I remember Mike talking to me about making a movie about moving away as a metaphor for dying. The preparation, the things you wanted to get done and didn't, and uncertainty of your destination. In a way that's what I wanted to come through in this song, at the end of my life, knowing that it's almost over and that the world won't miss a beat in my passing. Understanding that I have to leave and still part of me not wanting to.

L.B.C